Miss these sensational LOL quotes and blame yourself. If you thought what you may have read before was the bomb, then wait until you read what these persons had to say, I am sure they probably practiced right? You can also read much more funny sayings by checking out funny monday quotes, its awesome what you can find on Monday.
I hope that you will enjoy these quotes below so without further ado below are the funniest LOL quotes you may ever read.
“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
“My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”
“Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”
“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
“Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.”
“Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.”
“Americans are incredibly inpatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk.”
“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
“The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.”
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
“Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.”
“The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.”
“Uh, it's compressed carbon. If you want to keep it, I don't know about Rigsby, but I wouldn't tell a soul.”
“The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.”
“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
I am writing this with the expectation that you agreed with me about the hilarity of these quotes. You are probably just like ma and amazed beyond measure at some of what was said, yes everyone may not make the cut but I am sure you have been left baffled with laughter. On the note of finding yourself laughing uncontrollably be sure to read funny sleep quotes as well, oh yes funny fits any and everything!