29 Hilarious Quotes That Will Make You Cackle
Hilarious quotes are a great way to unwind and release any stress you may have developed during the day or week and become more relaxed. Hearing or reading funny stuff is a wonderful way to let loose and become healthier for it. As you read these quotes I am sure you will begin to feel a wonderful sensation of goodness throughout your body, funny just does that to you. By the way, you can also check out funny car quotes for more funny sayings. Check out these hilarious quotes below.
Quote #1
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”
Bill Connolly
Quote #2
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
A.A. Milne
Quote #3
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Abraham Lincoln
Quote #4
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Abraham Lincoln
Quote #5
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets..”
Al McGuire
Quote #6
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
Alan Dundes
Quote #7
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
Albert Camus
Quote #8
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Albert Einstein
Quote #9
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
Albert Einstein
Quote #10
“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
Alexander Woollcott
Quote #11
“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”
Andy Borowitz
Quote #12
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
Andy Rooney
Quote #13
“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”
Ann Landers
Quote #14
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
Ann Landers
Quote #15
“Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.”
Anton Chekhov
Quote #16
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
Quote #17
“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
Quote #18
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
Benjamin Franklin
Quote #19
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”
Benny Hill
Quote #20
“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”
Bernard Russell
Quote #21
“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
Bertrand Rusell
Quote #22
“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.”
Betty White
Quote #23
“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”
Bill Maher
Quote #24
“If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.”
Bill Vaughn
Quote #25
“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”
Bill Vaughn
Quote #26
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
Bill Watterson
Quote #27
“I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”
Billy Connolly
Quote #28
“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
Billy Sunday
Quote #29
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
I hope you enjoyed these very funny and hilarious quotes. Anything that makes you smile is designed to be so for the only reason of making you feel better like they say, laughter is the best medicine. You can be sure to find more funny stuff from this site as you check funny cooking quotes and other funny stuff, they are just hilarious.
