Funny Baby quotes are about parent’s hilarious remarks about caring for babies and toddlers. Raising babies isn’t any joke as many of those who quoted shared. It takes a lot to deal with babies and they share some very funny comments. You can also check funny mom quotes and funny food quotes, some very funny remarks.
Funny Baby quotes are intended to make you laugh till you cry. Laughter is good medicine, you never hear that statement enough right? I am sure many parents and siblings can relate to these funny quotes, even if you will become a parent, then hang tight. You can also check out funny sleep quotes as babies dislike sleep it seems. Below are a number of funny sleep quotes.
“Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."
“They vomit a lot. For a second I thought I needed to rename my first Linda Blair and hire a priest, because she was spitting up so much."
“24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!”
“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.”
“I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.”
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
“Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantsless when your baby walks around pantsless.”
“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.”
“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.”
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” Lane Olinghouse
“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.”
“You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.”
“None of it is real until all of a sudden they’re standing there covered in slime and crying. You’re like, wait a minute, what is that?”
“When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.”
“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
“People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.”
“Our baby in particular is, we think, allergic to sleep. We think that she thinks that she’s protecting us from the sleep monsters. She’s like ‘Oh, I gotta keep them up or the sleep monsters will get them.’”
“Spit up is my new favorite accessory. No outfit is complete without it.”
“Sleep is like the unicorn- it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.”
“When I was born I was so mad at my parents that I didn’t talk to them for two years.” — Unknown
“How could something so small create so much of something so disgusting?”
“Babies are always more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful.”
“That moment when you go to check on your sleeping baby and their eyes ping open so you drop to the floor and roll out of the room like a ninja.”
“Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas.”
“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”
“You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.”
“Welcome to parenthood, where you favorite new game will be ‘guess that bodily fluid.’”
“There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.”
”A baby’s a full time job for three adults. Nobody tells you that when you’re pregnant, or you’d probably jump off a bridge. Nobody tells you how all-consuming it is to be a mother—how reading goes out the window and thinking too.”
“I was on planes [and] when babies would cry, I would be mad at the families. Now I’m like, ‘Let them cry, let them do whatever they want. They can sit on me and poop if they want.’ Now I know more.”
“Sleep? Yes, I have a vague recollection of what that was like.”
“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”
“At 10 months old, I had her reading foreign language books — Donde Esta Spot? was a big one. ‘Donde esta Spot?’ My voice gets deeper when I read espanol, and I don’t even speak Spanish. But she doesn’t know that. Then I read French like ‘Bonsoir, lune?’, which is ‘Goodnight Moon’ in French, and I definitely don’t know any French. But I just keep saying things as a question? ‘Bonsoir, lune? Bonsoir, balloon? Bonsoir, oatmeal? Bonsoir, tiny mouse?’”
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
“Having children is like living in a frat house- nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
“Babies are cutest when they’re someone else’s problem.”
“Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.”
Funny Baby quotes are very entertaining and will certainly make you smile, laugh, giggle whatever works best for you. One thing is certain when it comes to funny quotes, it will make your day. I hope all readers will enjoy these quotes and will be inspired to do great things.