Funny Celebrity quotes are a hilarious set of quotes from many different celebrities that are full of humor and sometimes weird. You will finds quotes from Ellen Degeneres who is always funny and others like Brad Pitt. These famous people can conjure some really weird and funny quotes, but you should read for yourself.
Funny friendship quotes, like funny celebrity quotes share some of the funniest quotes that could ever come from a person’s lips. When you read some of what was said, you sometimes have to wonder what the celebrities were really thinking at the time. We should never forget there are people just like us though. Below are some of the funniest celebrity quotes.
“Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. OK? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is whack."
“Is this chicken or is this fish?"
“Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don’t even -you’re glib. You don’t even know what Ritalin is."
“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
“I thought Europe was a country?”
"I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows."
“The virginity issue. There are so many emotions involved that I would like to be able to wait until I know I’m with the right person and I’m married."
“Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?"
“All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years."
"I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me."
“I liked Michael Jackson better dark. And I liked his nose a lot better, too. If he has any more taken off, I don't know how he's gonna breathe."
“They misunderestimated me."
“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist."
“Can we got on with this? I've got to do AIDS and Alzheimer's and land mines this afternoon, and I want to get back for Deal or No Deal. Plus, Gwyneth's making drumsticks."
“I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really."
“He looks like a girl."
“Occasionally. One of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps. It's very interesting to see -- I've forgot the name of the program -- but you get the satellite, and you can -- like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes."
“I've never heard a Jay-Z song."
“My life is an open book. With illustrations."
"I didn't have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends."
“Let's face it: The teeth are getting more and more British every day. I look in the mirror and see Austin Powers staring at me."
"Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people."
“I don't feel restless, I just like to travel."
"People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader."
“I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband."
“I get to go to a lot of overseas places, like Canada."
“I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language."
"Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don't go grabbin' somebody else's, somebody's husband's [private parts], you understand me? That's very disrespectful."
"This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom."
“This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid."
“I want to focus on my salad."
“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice."
“I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it."
“Those jeans are comfortable, and for those of you who want your president to look great in his tight jeans, I'm sorry I'm not the guy. It just doesn't fit me. I'm not 20."
“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"
“The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."
“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."
“If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."
“To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit."
“Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one."
“The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him."
“Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still."
Funny Celebrity quotes are really silly remarks for the most part. If you love a good laugh I am sure that you found these quotes very entertaining, if you didn’t then you must be a really hard person to please. I hope you found these quotes entertaining and motivating in some way.