Funny Confucius Quotes
Funny Confucius quotes are an amazing set of funny quotes by Confucius you have to read to believe. He is known for his wisdom, but did you know he had so much sarcasm.
Confucius was Chinese philosopher whop had much to say and left a vast record of sayings that are still present today. His full name was Confucius Kong Qiu, and was born in September 28, 551 BC and died in April 11, 479 BC.
I am sure may persons may be surprised to know that he wrote so many comments about things of life that are full of humor. For more funny quotes, check out funny 60 birthday quotes and dad quotes funny, a little fun will keep you sane.
Funny Quotes Confucius
Funny quotes Confucius are brilliant, hilarious, sarcastic and much more. If you haven’t read the funnier side of Confucius, you should I am sure you will read many things that will surprise you.
I admit, if you don’t find the humor that he spoke hilarious I would be shocked. I encourage you to read what he said and share with your friends, so they can have a laugh. Below are a number of funny Confucius quotes to read for a good laugh.
Quote #1
“A lion chased me up a tree, and I greatly enjoyed the view from the top.”
Confucius
Quote #2
“Man with one chopstick go hungry.”
Confucius
Quote #3
“Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!”
Confucius
Quote #4
“Man who not poop for many days must take care of back log.”
Confucius
Quote #5
“ Before becoming master fisherman, must first become master baiter.”
Confucius
Quote #6
“War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.”
Confucius
Quote #7
“There is nothing more visible than what is secret, and nothing more manifest than what is minute.”
Confucius
Quote #8
“Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.”
Confucius
Quote #9
“House without toilet is uncanny.”
Confucius
Quote #10
“To lead uninstructed people to war is to throw them away.”
Confucius
Quote #11
“Man who keeps feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants.”
Confucius
Quote #12
“When called an idiot, better to be quiet than open mouth and remove all doubt.”
Confucius
Quote #13
“He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat.”
Confucius
Quote #14
“If you turn an oriental around, he become disoriented. ”
Confucius
Quote #15
“He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”
Confucius
Quote #16
“A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.”
Confucius
Quote #17
“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.”
Confucius
Quote #18
“Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.”
Confucius
Quote #19
“Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in own hands.”
Confucius
Quote #20
“Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook.”
Confucius
Quote #21
“Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don’t have film!”
Confucius
Quote #22
“How transcendent is the virtue of the middle conduct! Rare for a long time has been its practice among the people.”
Confucius
Quote #23
“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.”
Confucius
Quote #24
“Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star.”
Confucius
Quote #25
“Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too.”
Confucius
Confucius Quotes Funny
Confucius quotes funny sayings that will leave readers holding their tummies with laughter. His way of sharing a joke is definitely funny in itself. He shares some one-liners that are hard to beat. What is more interesting about what he says is the truth that many of us are able to relate to despite the time period.
He certainly will leave anyone who reads these quotes amazed at what he was able to say. If funny is what you want Confucius has you covered.
Quote #26
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
Confucius
Quote #27
“If a man in the morning hear the right way, he may die in the evening without regret.”
Confucius
Quote #28
“He who is stupid today is still stupid tomorrow.”
Confucius
Quote #29
“Learn as though you would never be able to master it; hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it.”
Confucius
Quote #30
“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”
Confucius
Quote #31
“It is not possible for one to teach others who cannot teach his own family.”
Confucius
Quote #32
“Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass.”
Confucius
Quote #33
“A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.”
Confucius
Quote #34
“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.”
Confucius
Quote #35
“By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.”
Confucius
Quote #36
“Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.”
Confucius
Quote #37
“He who laughs last did not get the joke.”
Confucius
Quote #38
“Study without reflection is a waste of time; reflection without study is dangerous.”
Confucius
Quote #39
“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”
Confucius
Quote #40
“If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.”
Confucius
Quote #41
“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.”
Confucius
Quote #42
“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”
Confucius
Quote #43
“To be truly happy and contented, you must let go of what it means to be happy or content.”
Confucius
Quote #44
“I slept and dreamt life is beauty, I woke and found life is duty.”
Confucius
Quote #45
“Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.”
Confucius
Quote #46
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
Confucius
Quote #47
“You are what you think.”
Confucius
Quote #48
“When you see a good person, think of becoming like her/him. When you see someone not so good, reflect on your own weak points.”
Confucius
Quote #49
“Do not let a leader lead you on a bad path.”
Confucius
Quote #50
“The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.”
Confucius
Funny Confucius Quotes
Funny Confucius quotes have been awesome, if you read to the end, I know you will agree with me. He definitely had a way with words and that is expressed in the funny sayings we shared with you.
Confucius has proven that despite what he was famous for he has a funnier side like others at QuoteDB. Laughter is good medicine, its free and there are no negative side effects.
If you want more fun readings to make your day and take your mind away from the stress of life, check out quotes golf funny, keep reading, there many more fun comments you will enjoy!
