Funny dog quotes are hilarious quotes people make about dogs and what it would be like if they actually talked. It is no secret that dogs are loved by millions if now more and they do make a great companion for a single person or even a family. Most people probably don’t know what they would do without their dog. Not to be left out is cats, they too have their own funny cat quotes which are just as hilarious.
The quotes on this page share a funny side about what dogs would probably say if they could talk. It is more about what we believe they are thinking. Talks are considered man’s best friend so funny friendship quotes could be a good companion for dog jokes. Below are numerous quotes about dogs and they are funny and some are true too.
“Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'"
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear."
“How was the dog's day? Ruff."
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant."
“To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service."
“Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog."
“I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks."
“If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog."
“I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog."
“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich."
“Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.”
“It was me, I let the dogs out."
“For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog."
“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
“Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.”
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!”
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.”
“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.”
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.”
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.”
“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!"
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.”
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted.”
“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”
“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.”
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”
“When an 85 pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!"
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.”
“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.”
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.”
“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.”
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”
"You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.”
“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
““If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise."
Funny dog quotes will inspire anyone who owns a dog and enjoy spending time with their canine friend. Dogs are an integral part of many homes and they sure bring joy and companionship. Some dogs howl and sound as though they are singing, maybe funny singing quotes would be a great idea while chilling with your dog. You will find these funny quotes about dogs motivating as you have a laugh.