Funny golf quotes are expressive remarks by gold players, golf wannabees and those who just have something to say. It is amazing what people can conjure up about golfing that is so hilarious, trust me I am so serious. You have to see it for yourselves. You can also check out funny car quotes and funny cooking quotes as they are also full of humor.
Funny golf quotes are designed with you in mind as laughter is the best medicine that anyone will ever need. Loosening up a bit certainly helps with one’s health and that is very true in many respects. You can also check funny birthday quotes for even more funny quotes. Below are a number of funny golf quotes to brighten your day.
“Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”
“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
“We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance.”
“While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.”
“I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it."
“Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.”
“Mistakes are part of the game. It’s how well you recover from them, that’s the mark of a great player.”
“The most important shot in golf is the next one.”
“My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.”
“The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.”
“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.”
“As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”
“I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.”
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
“Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.”
“Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.”
“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: It’s called an eraser.”
“The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law."
“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”
“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
“Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.”
“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.”
“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing."
“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.”
“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 50 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of how to play.”
“Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.”
“A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”
“My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.”
“My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.”
“Swing hard, in case you hit it!”
“I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.”
“Golf has produced a lot of millionaires…most of them are former billionaires.”
“Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.”
“If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.”
“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
“I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced."
“The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie."
“If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot."
“I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet."
"If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf."
"You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it."
"Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five."
“Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there."
“I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators."
“A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are… that’s why I get so many calls to play with friends."
Funny golf quotes are very funny, I kid you not, you will read player and non-players making some really hilarious remarks about golf. I hope you find the remarks entertaining and may you be inspired in some way by these funny quotes.