Funny Marriage quotes reflect on the ups and downs of marriage life and how funny such a subject could be. Many times women blame the and the men the women, but marriage is hard work. This post looks at the funny ways people view marriage and these quotes will surely make you laugh. Funny senior quotes has that affect on people as well so be sure to check that out.
Funny marriage quotes are designed to make you laugh as laughter is great medicine. It is amazing what is written in the quotes on this page. If you are in for a bit of humor, then you should read funny money quotes as well. Money is always a conversation among married couples. Below are a number of funny marriage quotes.
Quote #1 "Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” |
Quote #2 “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” |
Quote #3 “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” |
Quote #4 “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” |
Quote #5 “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” |
Quote #6 “If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; If you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” |
Quote #7 “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” |
Quote #8 “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” |
Quote #9 “Love is a lot like a backache; It doesn’t show up on X-Rays, But you know it’s there.” |
Quote #10 “Love is a lot like a backache; It doesn’t show up on X-Rays, But you know it’s there.” |
Quote #11 “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” |
Quote #12 “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” |
Quote #13 “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” |
Quote #14 “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” |
Quote #15 “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” |
Quote #16 “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” |
Quote #17 “An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” |
Quote #18 "Marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” |
Quote #19 “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” |
Quote #20 “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.” |
Quote #21 "Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.” |
Quote #22 “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” Unknown |
Quote #23 “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” |
Quote #24 “Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” |
Quote #25 “Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” |
Quote #26 “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.” |
Quote #27 If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” |
Quote #28 “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it.” |
Quote #29 “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” |
Quote #30 Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson |
Quote #31 “There are only three things women need in life: Food, water and compliments.” |
Quote #32 “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” |
Quote #33 “To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” Ogden Nash |
Quote #34 “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!” |
Quote #35 “In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” |
Quote #36 “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” |
Quote #37 I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” |
Quote #38 “My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.” |
Quote #39 “Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.” |
Quote #40 “No please don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!” |
Quote #41 “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” |
Quote #42 “When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” |
Quote #43 “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” |
Quote #44 “Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.” |
Quote #45 "Marriage, when person is always right, and the other is a man" |
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Funny marriage quotes are funny and will certainly make your day, I am sure. Food is a big part of any marriage, so lighten the mood by reading funny food quotes. I hope that these funny quotes will make your day, be inspired.
