Funny Quotes By Presidents
Funny quotes by presidents prove that even the leaders of America can have a funny bone in their body. If you didn’t know that your leaders could crack a joke whether willfully or by mistake, once you read these funny quotes you will see what I mean. You will read quotes from many different American presidents throughout the years so if you are in for a good laugh follow along. Be sure to read funny quotes from famous people and teamwork quotes funny.
Funny President Jokes
Funny president jokes are notorious for their startling reactions as some of the sayings are unexpected. It just goes to show that being the president doesn’t take away you being human and subject to humor. I am sure you will be amazed at some of the presidents that you will read here talking all types of gibberish if you may call it that. Are you ready for some wholesome fun, are you ready to hear some of the funny quotes by presidents, then read below?
Quote #1
“I know words. I have the best words.”
Donald Trump
Quote #2
“It was absolutely involuntary. They sank my boat.”
John F. Kennedy
Quote #3
“These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be.”
Barack Obama
Quote #4
“That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, all of it bad.”
Calvin Coolidge
Quote #5
“I’m so over-exposed I’m making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.”
Barack Obama
Quote #6
“I don’t see anything wrong with giving Bobby a little legal experience before he goes out on his own to practice law.”
John F. Kennedy
Quote #7
“When I take action, I’m not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It’s going to be decisive.”
George W. Bush
Quote #8
“All that Hubert needs over there is a gal to answer the phone and a pencil with an eraser on it.”
Lyndon B. Johnson
Quote #9
“If you give me a week, I might think of one.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Quote #10
“May you learn how to use your brain better than never in the upcoming year. Best wishes.”
Unknown
Quote #11
“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #12
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Quote #13
“You can fool some of the people all the time and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”
George Bush
Quote #14
“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”
George Bush
Quote #15
“You know nothing for sure…except the fact that you know nothing for sure.”
John F. Kennedy
Quote #16
“So dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.”
Lyndon Johnson
Quote #17
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I wouldn’t want to wake up next to a lady pipefitter.”
Richard Nixon
Quote #18
“I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.”
Jimmy Carter
Quote #19
“I always talk better lying down.”
James Madison
Quote #20
“If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the truth.”
Chester Arthur
Quote #21
“Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt.”
Herbert Hoover
Quote #22
“What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #23
“’Read my lips. No new taxes.”
George H. W. Bush
Quote #24
“I only know two tunes. One of them is ‘Yankee Doodle’ and the other isn’t.”
Ulysses S. Grant
Quote #25
“Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #26
“Press Secretary Jody Powell “has been trying to persuade me to reopen the White House swimming pool — suddenly. . . Any of you that survive would, of course, have permanent swimming privileges.”
Jimmy Carter
Quote #27
“Make love not war’? By the looks of you, you don’t look like you could do much of either.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #28
“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is having lots to do and not doing it.”
Andrew Jackson
Quote #29
“I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.”
Warren G. Harding
Quote #30
“No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.”
John Adams
Quote #31
“I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.”
Richard Nixon
Quote #32
“Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.”
Bill Clinton
Quote #33
“The ten most dangerous words in the English language are “Hi, I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #34
“People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that.”
George H. W. Bush
Quote #35
“When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer ‘present’ or ‘not guilty.'”
Theodore Roosevelt
Quote #36
“Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say ‘On the one hand…on the other.'”
Harry Truman
Quote #37
“If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”
George Bush
Quote #38
“Over the last few months I’ve lost 10 pounds. Where did they go? Why haven’t I produced them to the independent counsel? How did some of them manage to wind up on Tim Russert?”
Bill Clinton
Quote #39
“Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.'”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #40
“I experimented with marijuana a time or two and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.”
Bill Clinton
Quote #41
“You don’t know how to lie. If you can’t lie, you’ll never go anywhere.”
Richard Nixon
Quote #42
“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.”
Donald Trump
Quote #43
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case there is a national emergency – even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #44
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Abraham Lincoln
Quote #45
“It depends on what the meaning of the words “is” is.”
Quote #46
“If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog”
Harry Truman
Quote #47
“I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #48
“I have a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.”
Barack Obama
Quote #49
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.”
Ronald Reagan
Quote #50
“Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”
Abraham Lincoln
Funny President Quotes
Funny president quotes are amazingly funny by some amazingly well known politicians. Not everyone can be president, but that didn’t stop these guys from saying some of the funniest and wackiest things ever. After reading the quotes from all of these men, I am sure you are still laughing about some of the things they would have said, if you miss anything you can always read them again. Another selection of quotes to make you laugh are funny why quotes, be sure to ask the right questions.
