Funny Quotes Dating
Funny quotes dating are hilarious sayings about the world of dating people and how funny and weird it could get. I am sure most of us have been on a date if not multiple and had various experiences. Some of those times may have been fun, funny or sad based on the experience itself. We however are looking at the side of humor when it comes to dating another person and what you read will certainly bring back memories of some sort. For even more funny jokes or quotes, you can visit funny quotes on aging and funny quotes by women.
Funny Dating One Liners
Funny dating one liners are super funny and to the point, that is why they are called one liners. Persons have made use of one liners to get a date, so it won’t be surprising to see funny quotes going that direction. If anyone of the funny jokes you read here remind you of your past, I hope that it will be in a good way, as that is what these remarks are all about. If you are on the dating scene and love funny and looking for anything related to the topic, then this is the place for you. Below you will find a host of funny dating quotes that are hilarious and out of this world.
Quote #1
“Employees make the best dates. You don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.”
Andy Warhol
Quote #2
“I’ve been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.”
Wendy Liebman
Quote #3
“’Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury.”
Martha Beck
Quote #4
“I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Quote #5
“I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a “date-date.” We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.”
Dave Attell
Quote #6
“What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is there aren’t many job interviews where you’ll wind up naked.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Quote #7
“I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.”
Garry Shandling
Quote #8
“Dating is where you pretend you’re someone you’re not to impress someone you don’t know.”
San Banducci
Quote #9
“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”
Jenny McCarthy
Quote #10
“I was dating this guy and he thought he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelled the word ‘you’ and I just put the letter ‘u.’”
Kelly Osbourne
Quote #11
“One day, some guy is gonna see me eating a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands in my parked car and think “That’s her, she’s the one.”
Eden Dranger
Quote #12
“Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.”
Susan Healy
Quote #13
“It’s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married, there is something that is not very dignified about
talking about who you are dating.”
Luke Wilson
Quote #14
“I asked this one girl out, and she said, “You got a friend?” I said yes. She said, “Then go out with him.”
Don Irreva
Quote #15
“Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.”
Kendrick Cole
Quote #16
“Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you get to the cashier.”
Caprice Crane
Quote #17
“I went on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.”
Susie Loucks
Quote #18
“Date Night–It’s cheaper than marriage counseling.”
Unknown
Quote #19
“Online dating is like online shopping except you’re looking for people no one wants, and it’s $50 a month.”
Phil Pivnick
Quote #20
“Current relationship status: I made dinner for two. Ate both.”
Unknown
Quote #21
“Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.”
Henry Cloud
Quote #22
“Don’t look for a partner who is eye candy. Look for a partner who is soul food.”
Karen Salmansohn
Quote #23
“You didn’t date someone to change him. You dated him because you wanted him for the way he was. Flaws and fears and all.”
Jean Oram
Quote #24
“Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.”
Doug Coupland
Quote #25
“Dating a man is like flying a kite. You only need to know when to wind up the string or let it out.”
Jenna Alatari
Quote #26
“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
Mitch Hedberg
Quote #27
“I went out to dinner with a Marine. He looked at me and said, “I could kill you in seven seconds.” I go, “I’ll just have toast then.”
Margaret Smith
Quote #28
“Date Night is insurance for your marriage.”
Unknown
Quote #29
“My father always said, ‘Be the kind they marry, not the kind they date.’ So on our first date, I’d nag the guy for a new dishwasher.”
Kris McGaha
Quote #30
“I wish there was an online dating website for people who hate online dating.”
Unknown
Quote #31
“I don’t make mistakes… I just date them.”
Unknown
Quote #32
“I hate first dates. I made the mistake of telling my date a lie about myself, and she caught me. I didn’t think she’d actually demand to see the bat cave.”
Alex Reed
Quote #33
“On the first date, men worry about what they’re going to say, while women worry about what they’re going to wear.”
Unknown
Quote #34
“I look great in my profile pictures. They were taken when I didn’t need online dating to meet people.”
Unknown
Quote #35
“I miss dating The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window…”
MF FairyPrincessSmoo
Quote #36
“Everyone says that looks don’t matter, age doesn’t matter, money doesn’t matter. But I never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who’s broke.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Quote #37
“I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn’t realize it was stupidity.”
Gracie Hart
Quote #38
“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
Rita Rudner
Quote #39
“My boyfriend does this cute thing where he files for a restraining order.”
Eden Dranger
Quote #40
“An online dating site for really old people is called Carbon Dating.”
Unknown
Quote #41
“I just cancelled a date for tonight & told the dude I was sprayed by a skunk. Who would make that up? Me. I would make that up.”
Kate
Quote #42
“What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.”
Quote #43
“The main lesson I took from Lady and the Tramp is that dating below your station might result in someone who can get you free spaghetti.”
MehGyver
Funny Dating Jokes
Funny dating jokes are so impactful on the mind because they have the ability to make you laugh out loud. Laughing is the most natural remedy for a sick person and have been proven to make a difference in the lives of many persons. That is why it is important to smile and be joyful and allow the body to heal and the mind to be at peace. When you read these funny quotes dating, I am sure they did something for you! If they didn’t live up to expectation, maybe this one will, so be sure to read miss u funny quotes, it is all about dating and such like right?
