Funny Quotes From Famous People
Funny quotes from famous people share a wide array of funny saying and remarks that are sure to entertain. Being famous doesn’t take away form persons saying funny or weird things as they are human just like you and me. Have a good laugh as all of these people say things that are hilarious and help you release some of the stress of daily life. Be sure to check funny Jim Carrey quotes , funny sayings from a famous comedian from the 1990s and and funny quotes of the day for even more funny quotes and sayings.
Short Funny Celebrity Quotes
Short funny celebrity quotes are really finny remarks from famous people. If you are into funny quotes and like to read such statements from such persons then you will find these very exciting. This is a great opportunity to read funny quotes from a wide selection of famous celebrities from all walks of life. This may be the first time you will find so many famous people talking junk in one place. If not, you can still enjoy some of the most funny quotes from famous people below.
Quote #1
“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
W. H. Auden
Quote #2
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
Anthony Burgess
Quote #3
“Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.”
Josh Billings
Quote #4
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Mark Twain
Quote #5
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.”
Albert Einstein
Quote #6
“The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.”
Helen Hayes
Quote #7
“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
Conan O’Brien
Quote #8
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
Kate Moss
Quote #9
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
Quote #10
“I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”
Justin Bieber
Quote #11
“I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”
Okayyy.”
Alicia Silverstone
Quote #12
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
Steve Martin
Quote #13
“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”
Henny Youngman
Quote #14
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Jim Carrey
Quote #15
“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
Marylin Monroe
Quote #16
“Life doesn’t imitate art. It imitates bad television.”
Woody Allen
Quote #17
“If at first you do not succeed. Then skydiving is definitely not for you.”
Steven Wright
Quote #18
“We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.”
Samuel Beckett
Quote #19
“I have a rule. If the temperature goes below my age, I do not get out of bed.”
Ellen DeGeneres
Quote #20
“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”
Carl Sandberg
Quote #21
“To write a diary every day is like returning to one’s own vomit.”
Enoch Powell
Quote #22
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
Oscar Wilde
Quote #23
“I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”
Ellen DeGeneres
Quote #24
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
Charlie Sheen
Quote #25
“I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.””
Mariah Carey
Quote #26
“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow.”
Johnny Depp
Quote #27
“I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they´re wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it.”
Sarah Jessica Parker
Quote #28
“I am who I am. I can´t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”
Gwyneth Paltrow
Quote #29
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
Groucho Max
Quote #30
“Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time.”
Se. Bob Dole
Quote #31
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
Mark Twain
Quote #32
“I’d like to live like a poor man—only with lots of money.”
Pablo Picasso
Quote #33
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
Oscar Wilde
Quote #34
“Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.”
Brad Pitt
Quote #35
“Instant gratification takes too long.”
Carrie Fishers
Quote #36
“The funny thing is. When you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you.”
Jim Carrey
Quote #37
“I thought Europe was a country.”
Kelly Pickler
Quote #38
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
Ellen DeGeneres
Quote #39
“Well, a bear can stand juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented, but he’s not famous.”
Kim Kardashian
Quote #40
“I like women. I don’t understand them, but I like them.”
Sean Connery
Quote #41
“Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.”
Lou Erickso
Quote #42
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Phyllis Diller
Quote #43
“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.”
Woody Allen
Quote #44
“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Norm Crosby
Quote #45
“In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.”
Will Ferrel
Quote #46
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”
Bill Cosby
Quote #47
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
Lana Turner
Quote #48
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
Will Ferrel
Quote #49
“Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
John Wayne
Quote #50
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thomas A. Edison
Quote #51
“You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.”
Louis C. K.
Quote #52
“Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.”
Oscar Wilde
Quote #53
“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Quote #54
“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”
Whoops.
Christina Aguilera
Quote #55
“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
Britney Spears
Quote #56
“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Quote #57
“Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.”
Donald Trump
Quote #58
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
Mark Twain
Quote #59
“Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.”
Ozzy Osbourne
Quote #60
“Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.”
Luis Bunuel
Quote #61
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”
Oscar Levant
Quote #62
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
Cary Grant
Quote #63
“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”
W.C. Fields
Quote #64
“I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.”
S.E. Hinton
Quote #65
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
Quote #66
“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”
Thomas Sowell
Quote #67
“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.”
J. P. Getty
Quote #68
“I have insecurities of course but i do not hang out with anyone who points them out to me.”
Adele
Quote #69
“The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.”
Quentin Crisp
Quote #70
“You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.”
Jack Black
Quote #71
“Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Quote #72
“A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.”
B.L. Taylor
Quote #73
“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”
Britney Spears
Quote #74
“I just realized that ‘Let me check my calendar’ is the adult version of ‘Let me ask my mom.”
Noelle Chatham
Quote #75
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
Phyllis Diller
Funny Quotes By Famous People
Funny quotes by famous people are a sure way to enjoy a good laugh and I hope those shared above have made your day. It may even be a better feeling since those who shared with us are considered famous, proving that success and fame doesn’t stop you from being a normal person. Did you read all of them, I know some will be funnier than others, but I don’t want you to miss out one what could be the funniest quotes you have ever read, be sure to check out funny new year quotes too.
