Funny Quotes Relationships
Funny quotes relationships take a look at the funnier side of how persons relate to each other whether love or friendships. In this one we take a look at a number of individuals who share their own experiences about relationships, but in a funny way. A relationship can be based on many things, not just love between husband and wife as their are relationships among family and good friends as well. The quotes are really funny, so be prepared to have a laugh, you can also check funny love quotes and funny quotes for boyfriend for even more funny sayings.
Short Funny Quotes About Relationships
Short funny quotes about relationships are extremely funny and will surely make your day. These sayings are packed with humor to make you feel good inside as laughter is a great medicinal healer. Prepare to let go of all the stresses of life and indulged in some good fun that will be the highlight pf your day today and everyday you decide to visit and read more funny sayings. There are a lot more to go around and don’t forget to share with a friend. Ready to have a laugh? Below are a number of funny quotes relationships sayings you gotta read.
Quote #1
“Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.”
Unknown
Quote #2
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Quote #3
“Relationships are two people asking each other what they want to eat until one of them dies”
Unknown
Quote #4
“Love is sharing your popcorn.”
Charles Schultz
Quote #5
“You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That is your common sense leaving your body.”
Unknown
Quote #6
“The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders”
Linda Festa
Quote #7
“I know I’m a handful, but that’s why you got two hands.”
Unknown
Quote #8
“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
Rita Runder
Quote #9
“If my partner doesn’t cry while I am walking down the aisle, I’m turning around and walking in again!”
Unknown
Quote #10
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx
Quote #11
“I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.”
Unknown
Quote #12
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
Erma Bombeck
Quote #13
“When you realize your 3 main hobbies include: going to the gym, naps and food.”
Unknown
Quote #14
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
Mae West
Quote #15
“Love is spending your life with someone you often want to kill, but not doing so because you did miss them.”
Unknown
Quote #16
“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.”
Jean Kerr
Quote #17
“You want to know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.”
Unknown
Quote #18
“Ideally, couples need three lives: one for him, one for her and one for them together.”
Jacqueline Bisset
Quote #19
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
Albert Einstein
Quote #20
“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”
Brendan Francis
Quote #21
“When I want to end a relationship I just say, “You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.””
Rita Rudner
Quote #22
“Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.”
Ronnie Shakes
Quote #23
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays; I go Fridays”
Quote #24
“I can’t believe it’s been a year, since i didn’t become a better person.”
Unknown
Quote #25
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
Carroll Bryant
Quote #26
“I don’t see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain’t much of a recommendation for it.”
Larry McMurtry
Quote #27
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”
Natasha Leggero
Quote #28
“Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say”
Unknown
Quote #29
“Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.”
Fran Lebowitz
Quote #30
“I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.”
Unknown
Quote #31
“It’s better to have loved and lost than to do 40 pounds of laundry a week.”
Laurence J. Peter
Quote #32
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.”
Benjamin Franklin
Quote #33
“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
Agatha Christie
Quote #34
“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.”
Bobby Kelton
Quote #35
“Marriage is not a reform school..Instead of you reforming (your spouse), (he or she) will instead influenced you.”
Billy Graham
Quote #36
“Marry someone who can cook, looks fade, hunger doesn’t.”
Unknown
Quote #37
“Too many husbands and wives enter into marriage with the idea that their spouse exists for one purpose: to make them happy.”
Billy Graham
Quote #38
“When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.”
Unknown
Quote #39
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
Franklin P. Jones
Quote #40
“When a husband and wife are concerned only about their own individual desires, the stage is set for conflict.”
Billy Graham
Quote #41
“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”
Barack Obama
Quote #42
“When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.”
Unknown
Quote #43
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
Unknown
Quote #44
“Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along!”
Unknown
Quote #45
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.”
Mark Twain
Quote #46
“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.”
Jonathan Carroll
Quote #47
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
Lana Turner
Quote #48
“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”
Bill Clinton
Quote #49
“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.”
Al Gore
Quote #50
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.”
Joyce Brothers
Quote #51
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.”
David Sedaris
Quote #52
“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.”
Helen Rowland
Quote #53
“Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.”
Helen Gurley Brown
Quote #54
“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”
Ann Landers
Quote #55
“Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.”
James Garner
Quote #56
“In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.”
Rowland
Quote #57
“You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.”
Unknown
Quote #58
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
Jimmy Durante
Quote #59
“Love is being stupid together.”
Paul Valery
Quote #60
“Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
Ambrose Bierce
Quote #61
“You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!”
Unknown
Quote #62
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Robert Quillen
Quote #63
“The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one – and the husband is the one.”
Helen Deutsch
Quote #64
“Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.”
Hugh Payne
Quote #65
“A happy marriage is where he’s a little bit blind, and she’s a little bit deaf.”
Loriot
Quote #66
“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would really have preferred.”
Hugh Payne
Quote #67
“A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.”
Hugh Payne
Quote #68
“You know you’re happily married, when you’d rather come home than go out.”
Heinz Ruhmann
Quote #69
“Marrying means to halve one’s rights and double one’s duties”
Arthur Schopenhauer
Quote #70
“As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.”
Ralphie May
Quote #71
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
Lemony Snicket
Quote #72
“ Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
Jules Renard
Quote #73
“Relationships don’t always make sense. Especially from the outside.”
Sarah Dessen
Quote #74
“Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.”
Unknown
Quote #75
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
Lily Tomlin
Quote #76
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”
Tim Allen
Quote #77
“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
Cindy Garner
Quote #78
“Forever is a long time, make sure you spend it with someone who makes you laugh!”
Unknown
Quote #79
“Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
Unknown
Quote #80
“Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable”.”
Unknown
Quote #81
“I love you enough to make our iPhone-Samsung relationship work.”
Unknown
Quote #82
“Getting into a relationship may seem tempting, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.”
Unknown
Quote #83
“Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.”
Unknown
Quote #84
“The four most important words in any marriage: “I’ll do the dishes”.”
Unknown
Quote #85
“A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.”
Unknown
Funny Trust Quotes Relationships
Funny trust quotes relationships are hilarious as well. I am sure you will agree that the funny quotes above were a delightful read. If you weren’t impressed or felt the desire to grin, smile and giggle, then I must do better, but I hope there was something that was able to make you laugh out loud. If you are interested in even more hilarious quotes, then be sure to read funny quotes that are short for a good joke.
