Funny Sports Quotes

Quote #1

“I love the tension. I love when everything’s going wrong. ... In the NBA, they don’t promote guys like me. They like guys who like Cheerios, good guys. But I find a way to promote myself."
Metta World Peace

Quote #2

“They don’t think it be like it is, but it do."
Oscar Gamble

Quote #3

“I can play in the center, on the right and occasionally on the left side.”
David Beckham

Quote #4

“I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.”
Jerry Rice

Quote #5

“You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.”
Murray Mexted

Quote #6

“My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction.”
Tracy McGrady

 Quote #7

“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”
Torrin Polk

Quote #8

“The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle.”
Bob Varsha

Quote #9

“I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85.”
Chad Johnson

Quote #10

“The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.”
Chuck LaMar

Quote #11

“Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.”
Pedro Guerrero

Quote #12

“Baseball is too much of a sport to be a business and too much of a business to be a sport.”
Philip Wrigley

Quote #13

“When you're rich, you don't write checks. ... Straight cash, homey.”
Randy Moss

 Quote #14

“We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
Jason Kidd

Quote #15

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
Joe Theismann

Quote #16

“Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.”
Jeremy Roenick

Quote #17

“The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.”
Randy Cross

Quote #18

“I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all of those handshakes.”
Phil Rizzuto

Quote #19

“I've never lost a game. I just ran out of time.”
Michael Jordan

Quote #20

“It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
Hank Aaron

 Quote #21

“The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.”
Spider Lockhart

Quote #22

“Why would I want to help them win a title? They're not doing anything for me. I've got a lot at risk here. I've got my family to feed.”
Latrell Sprewell

Quote #23

“I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers...I mean Chargers.”
Bill Belichick

 Quote #24

“He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
Lou Duva

Quote #25

“I ain't gonna be no escape-goat.”
Karl Malone

Quote #26

“I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.”
Sherman Douglas

Quote #27

“The problem with winter sports is that—follow me closely here—they generally take place in winter.”
Dave Barry

Quote #28

“These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.”
Charles Barkley

Quote #29

“A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.”
Jerry Coleman

Quote #31

“Because there are no fours.”
Antoine Walker

Quote #32

“I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball."
Pete Rose

Quote #34

“We talkin' about practice?”
Allen Iverson

Quote #35

“I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.”
Lincoln Kennedy

Quote #36

“What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining."
Mike Ditka

Quote #37

“Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.”
Shelby Metcalf

Quote #38

“Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.”
Charles Barkley

Quote #39

“Well, Rickey's not one of them, so that's 49 percent right there.”
Rickey Henderson

Quote #40

“But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.”
Steve Spurrier

Quote #41

“I went through baseball as a player to be named later.”
Joe Garagiola

Quote #42

“I've never seen anyone go on the DL with pulled fat.”
Rod Beck

Quote #43

“What's that? Ah – Playoffs? Don't talk about – playoffs?! You kidding me?! Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game.”
Jim Mora

Quote #44

“I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
Jim Fink

Quote #45

“You guys line up alphabetically by height.”
Bill Peterson

Quote #46

“I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.”
Andre Dawson

Quote #47

“We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play.”
Pat Williams

Quote #48

“Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.”
Tom Landry

Quote #49

“I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.”
Johnny Bench

Quote #50

“He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.”
Eddie Shaw

Quote #51

“The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!”
Kevin Keegan

Quote #52

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
Rodney Dangerfield

Quote #53

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.”
Wilt Chamberlain

Quote #54

“There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket."
Abe Lemons

Quote #55

“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
Shaquille O'Neal

Quote #56

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
Greg Norman

Quote #57

“By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.”
Steve Rushin

Quote #58

“They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids.”
Tito Fuentes

Quote #59

“We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.”
Weldon Drew

Quote #60

“I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.”
Shaquille O'Neal

Quote #61

“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards. Whichever comes first.”
George Rogers

Quote #62

“Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour honey on him because he likes to fight. That's the type of guy Ray Lewis is.”
Shannon Sharpe

Quote #63

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Quote #64

“Fade into Bolivian, I guess.”
Mike Tyson

Quote #65

“Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.”
Doug Plank

Quote #66

“We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us.”
Ruud Gullit

Quote #67

“I can dribble with my right hand and I can dribble with my left hand. I'm amphibious.”
Charles Shackleford

Quote #68

“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”
John Madden

Quote #69

“Goaltending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?"
Jacques Plante

Quote #70

“The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992.”
Ralph Kiner

Quote #71

“Statistics are like bikinis—they show a lot but not everything.”
Lou Piniella

Quote #72

“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”
Doug Collins

Quote #73

“I led the league in "Go get 'em next time.”
Bob Uecker

Quote #74

“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”
Tug Mcgraw

Quote #75

“I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”
Muhammad Ali