Funny work quotes are funny remarks about how some people see work and what they would rather do. We live in a world where everyone needs to work unless you may be born with a “gold spoon in your mouth” and received a huge inheritance. The quotes are very funny and though we would all rather be somewhere else the reality is we have to work. Funny money quotes also shows the funnier side of the need for money which comes from working in most cases.
The quotes on this page share a funny side about what work and the struggle many persons face going on a regular basis. What is important about these quotes is the humor that makes doing your job all the bearable as you think of the many ways working can be trying. Funny Life quotes also talk about the challenges we face and puts a funny twist to the issues. Below are quotes to make every working individual stop and get a laugh.
“Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don't know what I am doing"
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck."
“Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep."
“I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing."
“Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?"
“If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook."
“On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth."
"Actual meanings of various terms:
“Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living."
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
“When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31."
“If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut."
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
“A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours."
“Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?"
“I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.”
“When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep."
“He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor."
“You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!"
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
“It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them."
“Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job."
“I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays."
“Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work."
“My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it."
“I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run."
“I am so tired even my tiredness is tired."
“The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day."
“Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!"
“I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y"."
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work."
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams."
“Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments."
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement."
“Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job."
“My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work."
“When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday."
“Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers."
“My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour."
“Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday."
"Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us."
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television."
“Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!"
Funny work quotes and will inspire anyone who finds working from day to day a challenge. You may also be inspired by funny friendship quotes as you seek to find a way in this world so you work less, like starting your own business. Whatever you do, may these quotes make you smile and motivate you in your success.